


The Very Secret Diaries of Mary_Suep – Ghost Soup BNF (and grade-A cowbag)

by who_la_hoop



Category: Fandom - Fandom, Ghost Soup Infidel Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 13:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1094481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_la_hoop/pseuds/who_la_hoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amaresu – </p>
<p>I really hope this doesn’t cause wank, but if Mary_Suep had been talking like this about me behind MY back, I would want to know. I really hope this doesn’t Ruin Yuletide for you, or anything. You know that if she HAS made a mockery of your request, or failed to post a completed fic, you can report her to the mods, right?</p>
<p>*big hugs*</p>
<p>A concerned nonnie and fellow REAL Ghost Soup fangirl</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Very Secret Diaries of Mary_Suep – Ghost Soup BNF (and grade-A cowbag)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amaresu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaresu/gifts).



**Monday 23 September**

_Daily kudos count 14 (acceptable), status of current WIP chapter 13/? (11 days since last update; holding off for either 20 more comments or display of love eg. spontaneous fanart. Bad cover manip rec’d yesterday does not count), new LJ friends 3 (all nobodies), total tumblr followers 1713, daily word count 0 (depressed at low number of tumblr followers; am I losing my popularity or something? No, surely not)._

**Fics read today**  
\- “Blue Moon Café” (Luke/Ryan). Coffeeshop AU. OMG!!! This is such a rip-off of the idea I had last week; suspect email hacked.  
\- “If this is wrong (I don’t want to be right)” (Vampire clonecest). V. V. hot! Left guest kudos.  
\- “Reboot My Heart”. (Luke/Ryan). Backbuttoned halfway through. Apparently some people think it’s okay now to write Ryan as TALLER than Luke? I mean, WTF?!!! Did they never actually WATCH canon? Or do a little basic research? Ryan is wearing HEELED BOOTS in the reboot. Some people need their fucking eyes tested. Note to self: put this on tumblr. Cannot be alone in opinion; must rally the minions.

**11.02 p.m.** Read interesting discussion on Tumblr re the issue of Angela’s clone after finalising my Yuletide noms. awesomewomenYAY claims that the clone in HER fandom is more in control of her destiny because her name is – get this – Clone Gwen Stacey! Apparently Angela’s clone is owned by her original DNA – hence the possessive form of her name – while Clone Gwen Stacey asserts both her clone-ness and her Gwen Stacey-ness simultaneously. LMAO!! Have you ever heard anything more ridic.? Have reblogged with the wise words “WUT? LOLNOPE” and await awesomewomenYAY’s undoubtedly ludicrous rebuttal with interest.

**11.37 p.m.** awesomewomenYAY must be asleep right now, or else stuck somewhere with her head up her ass. Am not deigning to respond to the bile of her fangirls.

**11.56 p.m.** awesomewomenYAY still remains silent on the issue; am claiming moral victory. Fuck her, is what I say! And, happily, so do my followers, who won’t stand to see me bullied and belittled by mean girls when I’m only speaking the truth.

 

**Tuesday 24 September**

_Daily kudos count 23 (good), status of current WIP chapter 13/? (still no fanart or particularly flaily fanmail, so not sure my readers really DESERVE the new chapter yet; may hold off till weekend), new LJ friends 11 (tumblr wank good for something), total tumblr followers 1729, daily word count 0 (too angry at clone controversy; muse is dead)._  
  
 **1.34 p.m.** Too upset to eat lunch, so left the office and forced down a frappucino with extra cream to keep my strength up. If awesomewomenYAY knew she was encouraging my eating disorder to return, would she be so mean? Probably. Fandom is FULL of mean girls. Thank god for all my concerned, loyal fans, who aren’t afraid to come to my defence and tell awesomewomenYAY what they really think of her! Their honesty is so refreshing.

**2.51 p.m.** This day just gets worse. Hhertzof, that absolute TRAITOR, just posted on the Yuletide comm:

 

> The mods have decided that in light of the revelation that one of the characters nominated in **Ghost Soup Infidel Blue (Reboot)** is the immortal cloned vampre twin brother of one of the characters nominated in **Ghost Soup Infidel Blue** that we have to consider the new series a continuation rather than a reboot and we have merged the two fandoms. If anyone has a reasonable objection to this, please elaborate in the comments.

Listen up, Hh-face. FIRST, it’s “vampire”, not “vampre”. If you’re going to be professional, the least you can do is learn to spell. SECOND, I can’t even BEGIN to explain how wrong this decision is. Even a CHILD could see that Classic and Reboot are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOMS. It’s absolutely the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard to suggest that because Lucien Dane Nicolas Abaddon Damien Ash Cage appears in both movies, and Reboot is set a hundred years after classic, that Reboot is the sequel!

**2.57 p.m.** Still fuming over this betrayal. I can’t believe Hhertzof calls herself a Ghost Soup fan. Went to AO3 to see if I’d commented on any of her fanfics, because someone like that doesn’t DESERVE my support. Infuriated to see I’d left a kudos on one of her earlier fics. There is no way to retract kudos!!!! Sent an email to AO3 support; they need to fix that asap. I mean, what if I’d misclicked? Surely it’s against my human rights that I can’t retract a kudos left in error!

**4.12 p.m.** Too angry to do any work this afternoon. Instead, have spent time honing my “reasonable objection” in response to the Traitor’s mod post. First attempt was 6,134 words, but I managed to get it down to a mere 4,155 words of rich, persuasive prose.

**4.27 p.m.** Turns out 4,155 words of rich, persuasive prose has to be posted in nine separate comments, due to character limits. (Even LJ is against me now, it seems!) Felt a little silly halfway through, but once I’d started it would have been cowardly to stop.

**4.31 p.m.** Occurs to me I could have posted my essay on my LJ, or tumblr, and then linked to the post, possibly making myself look just as passionate but slightly less insane. Oh well. It’s not my fault I am so carefree and impetuous. Some wouldn’t even call those character flaws; I am the way I am, and any haters can go DIAF!

**10.02 p.m.** Am bemused by furore over some middle-aged bald guy in a suit being excluded from Yuletide, along with some other guy who wears leather, has nice arms and doesn’t say very much. Some people really get wound up over nothing, imo. They need to learn to chill out. Still no response from AO3 regarding removing my kudos from Hh’s fic; have resent my email to AO3 support, as they clearly haven’t received it.

The Yuletide Ghost Soup debacle rumbles on with no resolution, despite me having explained – in clear, precise English – why the fandoms should be separated, over seven hours ago!! Seriously, I have no idea why this fuck up is taking so long to fix. Am beginning to get seriously worried that my nemesis, awesomewomenYAY, will latch on to this and start bullying me all over again. Think I’ll do a little GS:IB rewatch and then have an early night.

 

**Wednesday 25 September**

_Daily kudos count 0 (AO3 email not received yet; LATE), new LJ friends -1 (DEFRIENDED BY awesomewomenYAY, the absolute c**t!!! And to add insult to injury, when I went to defriend her right back, I hadn’t friended her in the first place, so I was thwarted even in that! Unfollowed her on Tumblr, but the sting didn’t fade), daily word count 0 (can’t write when I am crying tears of pure anger)._

**7.08 a.m.** Am so unappreciated in this fandom!!! I don’t even know why I bother! WHAT’S THE FUCKING POINT. awesomewomenYAY is soooo unpleasant. Have posted this in my LJ too. Considered locking comments, but that seems childish. Probably no one will comment anyway.

**2.15 p.m.** Have ONLY had 163 comments in support on LJ so far – just over 10% of the people who’ve friended me. What’s the point of having me on their friendslist if they can’t be bothered to comment? I’ll be charitable and blame time zones; maybe they haven’t all woken up yet. Am feeling exceptionally grumpy today, and I put the blame for this firmly in awesomewomenYAY’s court. Not only did she defriend me, but she wasn’t content to stop there! Oh no, she had to really twist the knife by tweeting that Lucien Dane Nicolas Abaddon Damien Ash Cage is the “stupidest character name ever”! Of course, Lucien’s full name is so long and glorious that she was foiled by the 140 character limit and so had to split her slander across two tweets, meaning hardly anyone retweeted her ignorant bile. What an idiot! Of course, if we went by her ridiculous logic, Lucien is a better clone than her favourite Clone Gwen Stacey as his name doesn’t even HAVE the word Clone in it. In fact, we don’t even mention he’s a clone at all – it’s bad manners to bring it up. He IS Lucien, as far as Soupies are concerned. Only an idiot would distinguish between them!! Of course, it does make it a little bit complicated when writing Classic/Reboot crossover clonecest, but in my headcanon Reboot!Lucien is a little more laid back than Classic!Lucien, and of course there’s the difference in cock size too – Reboot!Lucien’s being slightly longer, but not quite as thick. So it’s quite easy to tell them apart, really, if you pay attention.

 

**Monday 30 September**

_Daily kudos count 125 (v. good), status of current WIP chapter 14/? (new chapter posted, 2,134 words of sheer genius :D), new LJ friends 5 (hmm), total tumblr followers 1814, daily word count 0 (but 5,134 of plot notes GO GO GO)._  
 **  
1.55 p.m.** I am not sure what’s going on with my Yuletide nominations; there are big red crosses by all of them right now?! I don’t understand why the mods are being so difficult; it’s like they’re completely missing the spirit of Yuletide. I mean, okay, I know that Harry Potter isn’t allowed for some reason, but I don’t see why I couldn’t nominate my own 498,000 Harry/Draco fanfic as a fandom! And, okay, I know the Hollywood film of Infidel Purple has, like, over a million fics on the pit of voles, but I don’t see why that makes the novelisation off-limits! Just because the plotline of the film was exactly the same as the novelisation doesn’t make the FANDOMS the same; I mean, Lord Henry von Twistleton had black eyes in the book but blue eyes in the film! The characters could hardly look more different!

And don’t even get me STARTED that Sherlock Season Three appears to have been rejected as well. It’s soooo ridiculous. All the fanfic so far has been for Seasons 1 and 2! There ISN’T any for Season 3 as it hasn’t aired yet! So I just don’t see why it’s being treated as the same, when it’s clearly going to be based on completely new canon. And really, when you dig into the numbers, there’s actually hardly any fic at all about Sherlock himself – it’s all Johnlock, which barely counts. And if you take out all the OOC fic then there’s probably only one or two fics about him at all! I have to admit – I don’t get it. Am starting to consider not doing Yuletide this year; but then there are all my fans to consider! I don’t want to let them down. I owe it to them to write a Yuletide hit and show everyone just how great Ghost Soup really is.

**4.35 p.m.** Received infuriating email from AO3 support about their terrible kudos bug. Apparently, they do intend to implement a way to withdraw kudos but THEY DON’T CONSIDER IT A TOP PRIORITY SO IT COULD BE SOME TIME!!! I am absolutely outraged. What if, say, my cat had walked on my keyboard and accidentally left kudos using my logged-in account? The story could have been anything! I mean, I am not dissing the idea of Your Kink Is Not My Kink etc etc, but what if that story was some sicko child porn or gross kink like scat?! The OTW seems sooooooo concerned about social justice, but there’s no justice available for ME, it seems. They just can’t see past their own privilege!!! I bet if one of THEM had accidentally left kudos on a fic that they wanted to retract, they could go in and just remove it, no problem. But when it’s ME… Am starting to wonder if there is some vendetta against me because I spoke up on the Yuletide comm about the merging of Classic and Reboot. It’s no secret that Yuletide’s head honcho is involved in the OTW. Just because she’s some famous author – Anne McCaffrey, or Robin Hobb or something, I can’t even remember – she thinks she can get away with anything!

 

**Saturday 5 October**

_Daily kudos count 63 (*nod nod*), status of current WIP chapter 15/? (new chapter posted, 1,034 words), new LJ friends 2 (wtf?! So few), total tumblr followers 1817, daily word count 4,742 (chapters 16 and 17 of WIP, woot)._

**Fics read today**  
\- “Annie-believable” (Angela/Angela’s Clone). Hot and funny; best thing I’ve read for weeks. Felt depressed after reading this that will never be as funny. No one will take my flangst crown, but am I one note in my writing? Didn’t leave comment or kudos out of principle.  
\- “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin” (Luke/Ryan). By my fandom bestie!  <33333 Not the best fic in the world, but kudosed, commented and recced. Well, she is my bestie, it’s only fair!

**12.04 p.m.** Absolutely DELIGHTED by the news that Gwen Stacey has been REJECTED FROM YULETIDE. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, awesomewomenYAY! If you have an “awesome” clone and you go ahead and nominate the ORIGINAL character, who’s not in that version of canon, what did you expect would happen?

Am still mad that GS Classic and Reboot are merged and show no sign of being unmerged. But as long as ONE of them gets through, all is not lost. I mean, I know TECHNICALLY that “optional details are optional” when writing Yuletide gift fics, but who actually follows that? I’ll just request the version and characters I want in my optional details, whatever the actual Ghost Soup tagset includes, and no one’s going to be asshole-ish enough to contradict those. That would be totally against the spirit of Yuletide!

 

**Tuesday 8 October**

_Daily kudos count ??? (am feeling too sore over the Kudos Debacle to open any emails from the AO3 today), status of current WIP chapter 16/? (waiting to hit 3000 kudos, then will post), new LJ friends 11 (v. good), total tumblr followers 1898, daily word count 0 (no comment)._  
  
 **11.41 p.m.** Yuletide sign-ups are open! Must remember to sign up. Can’t sign up today as feeling too irritated at the news that Clone Gwen Stacey has been retroactively added to the Ultimate Arseholes fandom tagset. Masked IP address and checked out awesomewomenYAY’s tumblr to see if she was gloating, but her recent posts seem to be self-obsessed whining about how people should stop picking on her and leave her alone, because her cat died recently and her mum has cancer and her leg is about to drop off. Honestly! She’ll be posting that she’s homeless and needs financial donations next!

 

**Sunday 13 October**

_Daily kudus count 94 (rec from my fndom bestie, bless her <3), status of current WIP chapter 16/? (still waiting to hit 3000 kudos – only 34 – no, 37 – no, 35 to go, I think), too drunk to check follower numbers etc, total vokda units 8.5 (hic!)_

**11.53 p.m.** Drunk! Mush remememember to sign up to Yuletighd tommorow. Still h8 crappywommenBOO! Cant rememember why tho. O well.

 

**Monday 14 October  
**  
 _Note to self: go back and add in stats when feeling more alive_  
  
 **6.13 a.m.** Too early to be alive. Why did I wake up at this godforsaken hour? Even my hair hurts. I resent this.

**9.27 a.m.** I think I must have flu. Not sure why else I feel so dreadful today. Have decided to take the day off work and nourish self with large fried breakfast and then a day of petting cats (Luke and Ryan <3) on the sofa whilst watching daytime telly.

**6.02 p.m.** Have the vague feeling there’s something I’ve forgotten.

**6.03 p.m.** FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

**10.12 p.m.** Well, while the Yuletide mods and I may not see eye to eye when it comes to important issues like Classic vs Reboot (and I will defend my viewpoint to the death, bitches), I am soooo grateful to them for keeping the sign-ups open for me for a few extra hours. I can’t believe I nearly missed them! I am such an idiot! It took me ages to sign up, as well, because I couldn’t decide what else to request other than Ghost Soup. I mean, I plan to mention in my Dear Author letter that the only fandom I really want is Ghost Soup, and point my author to a download or two if they haven’t already seen it, but you have to show willing and pick a few other things too. So rule-bound, but there you go.

ANYWAY, I got my sign-up in, and now all I need to do is work on my letter and pray to the fandom gods that my own assignment is Ghost Soup related, or that my giftee is up for a crossover. That seems likely, I think! Surely no one exists who doesn’t like GS:IB?

**3.18 a.m.** It’s technically the next day, but I woke up in a cold sweat and I had to put this thought down in writing. What if I get assigned awesomewomenYAY? WHAT WILL I DO THEN? The idea is horrifying. Should I default? Should I write her the best fic ever to show her how grown-up I am? Should I put coal in her Yuletide stocking and then orphan it before reveals? I am seriously not sure what I’d do if I ended up assigned such a well-known wanker. SHUDDERING FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. I wish I could get assigned myself; it may sound immodest, but who wouldn’t want to have a BNF like me writing for them? I leave the most gracious comments too.

**4.07 a.m.** Still can’t sleep. What if I get Hh-face, that traitor to the Ghost Soup cause?

**4.22 a.m.** WHAT IF I GET THE YULETIDE BNF WHO I BLAME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RETRACT MY ILL-JUDGED KUDOS ON AO3?

**4.37 a.m.** What if I get a nobody, who nobody follows and so nobody reads my fic?

**4.41 a.m.** Scrap the last thought. Everyone knows I’m the best writer in Ghost Soup, false modesty aside, and everyone knows I’m doing Yuletide. If I’m going to be plagued by worries, I can at least scratch that one off the list. If I’m feeling a bit low, I can just make my “anonymous” author’s note a bit distinctive; people know my posting style, and they know my usual beta. It’s not exactly hard to flag up that I’ve written something, and my fandom bestie will absolutely rec it when I link her to it. I need to stop worrying about pointless things like this and go to sleep.

 

**Tuesday 15 October**

_Daily kudos count 73 (A+), status of current WIP chapter 17/? (new chapter UP), new LJ friends 0 (w-the-actual fuck; is LJ dying, after all?), total tumblr followers 1890, daily word count 0 (Dear Yuletide Writer letter – 851 words)._  
  
 **Fics read today  
\- ** None: too busy reading other people’s Yuletide letters and raising my eyebrows

**11.37 p.m.** It’s been a long day, but before I go to sleep, I just had to write up my diary and say OMG, PEOPLE, STOP BEING SO PICKY. Letters are to say the things you LOVE, not to spread hate about everything you despise about your canon. If you don’t like your fandoms, why choose them at all? I am very happy with my letter; I think I struck a nice balance between encouraging and forbidding: of course, I want my author to write what makes her happy, but at the same time she should be thinking MOST about what makes ME happy, right? Note to self: here’s the link to my letter for future reference – [http://mary-suep.livejournal.com/1159.html](http://mary-suep.livejournal.com/1159.html)

I wish people would stress out less about their letters. They’re not a big deal. You have to try really hard to make them inadvertently wanky, believe me.

**11.45 p.m.** Further note to self: remember to go back and leave a comment on last year’s Yuletide fic written for me. It’s been SUCH a busy year that I just haven’t had a chance, but apparently some people think that’s rude? Would hate people to think badly of me, even though it’s not my fault.

**11.57 p.m.** Fuck it, will leave comment now, even though I haven’t read the thing. I just can’t be bothered. Think this will do very nicely indeed:

> Thank you so much for writing this for me! I love Ghost Soup, so it was so wonderful to have a gift in this fandom, and featuring my favourite characters too! You did a good job including them! 14,372 words of fic written just for me; I am so lucky. I am squeeing fit to burst!

Maybe I will actually read the story at some point? IDK, it’s only had 14 comments and 58 kudos so far, so it can’t be THAT good.

 

**Friday 18 October**

_Too ENRAGED for stats, OMG._

**12.37 p.m.** OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

**12.44 p.m.** Trying to calm down, but NO. I can’t BELIEVE that I’ve got a request for FUCKING INFIDEL ORANGE. And Stacy as the main character!!!!! She wasn’t even nominated! This is why I signed up so carefully! To avoid shit like this! I mean, I know that I requested some un-nominated characters, but that’s entirely different – and I gave OPTIONS. This is beyond belief. Here’s the request in full:

 

> Fandom: Ghost Soup Infidel Blue
> 
> Character: Stacy (I know she's not on the list, but she's the character I want)
> 
> Prompt: How was this the only Ghost Soup nominated? I didn't nominate Orange myself because I figured they would all be nominated. It's like only having one of those Kamen Rider or PreCure shows nominated.
> 
> Well, what I want is some Orange. I know the audio drama isn't the most popular or easy to get ahold of, but it has Stacy. Who doesn't love Stacy? She's become completely necessary to my enjoyment of Ghost Soup. If you can't get the audio drama I know she shows up in parts of the Red manga, just ignore the bit about her being part fish from that. I have no idea what the writers were thinking.
> 
> Also I love the space-elf worldbuilding that was done in Purple.
> 
> Further thoughts: Like I said, Orange is my favorite version of Ghost Soup. The voice acting is amazing and there's Stacy. Stacy who doesn't need to be awesome with a laser sword and the best whatever it is Angela actually does (no really, what does she do? Annie takes care of all of Angela stuff in most of the versions, it's like you get a clone and suddenly you don't need to be at your station anymore). She can speak over 40 languages and fly a shuttle through a comet tail without breaking a sweat. I love the way she stood up the rebels in Our Home, Our Fight and how she's wasn't ashamed to be the backup in the season 2 finale Blue Marshes.
> 
> So, yeah, Stacy is amazing. But, I guess, if you can't write her for some reason then I'm always up for some space-elf worldbuilding.

I don’t even know what I’m going to do with this, ffs. I had a gorgeous Luke/Ryan PWP all plotted out, ready to go, and I get a shitty request like this? A request that bashes Angela? I am such a fan of the awesome women in Ghost Soup, and it makes my heart ache to see a fellow Soupie being so disloyal. I mean, just because I requested Luke/Ryan doesn’t mean that I am not all for the women, and for their friendships, and for them being awesome and kick-ass and talking about stuff that’s not boys. Just because I don’t want them front and centre in any fic doesn’t take anything away from that!!! This Amaresu chick is so unbelievable.

**12.57 p.m.** ALMOST defaulted, but had a change of heart. It would be cruel to my fans to deny them Yuletide fic from me. Just because I’ve had an uninspiring request doesn’t mean that I can’t write the best fic ever. MUST NOT FORGET THAT OPTIONAL DETAILS ARE OPTIONAL. I’ll have to think about this some more; maybe my dreams will be inspiring?

**  
Saturday 19 October**

_Daily kudos count 122_

**10.52 a.m.** Am feeling much better this morning, after a great email from AO3 with kudos for my latest chapter. Have almost forgiven AO3 for their dreadful kudos system; still smarting over the fact I can’t remove kudos left in error, but these things are sent to try us. I will just have to take this indignity and help it make me stronger.

Had a very hot dream about Ryan’s bare chest. He clutched me to it – ruining my silk negligee with his body oil, by the by, but in dreams apparently no one worries about the dry-cleaning bill – and murmured that I was better by far than any man that ever lived. This gave me AMAZING IDEA for my Yuletide fic. Okay, so I am not much of a fan of Stacy, but in some ways she is just like me – super competent, talented, physically fit, beautiful, very modest. I can SO put myself in her place and kick ass and take names. This Yuletide fic might just be the greatest of excuses for me – I mean, Stacy – to outclass and outmanoeuvre a variety of super hot, super intelligent men. I mean, it’s the sort of thing I dream about before I go to sleep anyway? Totally id-tastic. I’m thinking Doctor Who (David Tennant, obv., not one of the gross ones), and Loki (NO ONE HAS A BETTER BUTT THAN HIDDLES, AND THAT’S THE TRUTH), and Sherlock (people who say he looks like a lizard alien overlord are just jealous, I think) and… yeah. I’m just going to go back to bed for a while and think about it some more.

**11.17 a.m.** It occurs to me that this story also has great potential to be the biggest Yuletide hit of 2013. Which I would never aim for, of course. I merely hope to entertain my recipient.

**11.37 a.m.** I wonder if I should switch out Doctor Who for one of the Supernatural brothers? Or both? Have not watched any Supernatural, but I hear it is a very popular show.

**11.44 a.m.** No. On further deliberation, the increased readership from including Supernatural characters might be outweighed by the chance of inadvertent badfic. Probably not wise to write fic for a canon I’ve never watched; would hate to look stupid.

**11.46 a.m.** Although I could just look it up on Wikipedia! It really is tempting. Will have to ponder on it; maybe sit down with a cup of tea, a plate of cookies and my pet kitty. It’s true that I haven’t watched more than the pilot episode of Agents of SHIELD myself, but my coffeeshop AU of it already has 7,513 hits and 1,653 kudos… How canon-compliant does something need to be, anyway?

 

**Monday 21 October**

_Daily kudos count 34 (tolerable), status of current WIP chapter 17/? (too soon for new chapter), new LJ friends 5 (1 MNF, friended back), total tumblr followers 1897, daily word count 3,456, Yuletide gifts on AO3 0._

**11.25 a.m.** I mean, not that I was expecting to have any gifts or treats up already, but it’s a bit sad to look at my gift page on AO3 and not see any mystery gifts. I only have the 84 gifts up there, and it would be so nice to reach a nice round 100 before the end of the year. That’s not too much to ask, is it? IDK though, maybe I shouldn’t WANT gifts, because then I feel the horrible peer pressure to actually read them, and leave long comments, and I feel the pressure of my honesty crushing down on me: if something is bad, or mediocre, I just can’t lie, so isn’t it better to leave no comment at all than to leave faint praise or an outright untruth?

Starting to worry a bit that I should have been more explicit in my Yuletide letter. I mean, I know Optional Details Are Optional, but if I don’t get an NC17 slash fic then my Yuletide will probably be ruined. Maybe I should have said that? I don’t know though – I feel like if my author wants to please me then she should look through my journal and see my posts, and read my fics and see my tastes. It’s pretty obvious, if you really look, the sort of things I like. I just hope I don’t get gen, or – horrors – het. I mean, I know there’s nothing technically wrong with gen, but it’s just so boring and pointless, right?

 

**Wednesday 20 November**

_Daily word count 7,803, Yuletide gifts on AO3 3_  
  
 **10.13 p.m.** I am totally excited about writing my Yuletide fic. It is going to rock! And I already have three gifts posted! I am going to WIN Yuletide. First, though, I just have finish up the four fest fics I have due by mid-December. It’s definitely fest season right now :D

 

**Sunday 15 December  
**  
 _Daily word count 0, Yuletide gifts on AO3 7_  
  
 **11.38 p.m.** Woah, default deadline has passed. Not that I was planning on defaulting, but I guess I can’t now, lol. I should probably get going on my Yuletide fic soon, now I’ve got my other fest commitments out of the way, I guess. IDK, I’ve kind of lost motivation? Loving how many gifts I have so far, but then it’s not surprising – the full list of prompts came out today, and my Ghost Soup prompts are pretty much the best of the bunch. I reckon I had the WORST LUCK with my recipient though. ALL of the other Soupies have left better prompts than her. I am going to write her an amazing fic, but I’m not sure she deserves it!!! Oh well, I will be the bigger person. (Not literally!!!) My reward will be all the hundreds of kudos and comments I’ll get, while the fic SHE writes will no doubt languish unloved somewhere at the bottom of the heap. Bitchy, but true.

**  
Friday 20 December  
**  
 _Daily word count 0, Yuletide gifts on AO3 9_  
  
 **9.17 a.m.** I really need to get started on my Yuletide fic, lmao. I mean, I know it will rock, even if I write it last minute, but it’s starting to stress me out just a little bit. Deadline is Sunday! Only two and a bit days to go!

**8.54 p.m.** WHAT. THE. HELL. I googled myself, for reasons I’m not going to go into, but are perfectly understandable, and came across a bunch of anonymous mean girls slagging off Ghost Soup on something called "[Ghost Soup Anon](http://ghostsoup-anon.livejournal.com)", and making some unflattering remarks about my current WIP? I can’t believe that people waste time like that being spiteful! They should go and do something useful instead, rather than sitting about being bitchy!

**2.37 a.m.** I am absolutely FUMING. I have read PAGES and PAGES and PAGES of vitriol, and I just can’t understand why anyone would want to bring negativity into the thing they do for fun. This is crazy!!! Have waded in to a few discussions to set them right, and have explained just WHY they are wrong about my current work – being careful not to be obvious that it’s me, of course. I mean, they should feel free to have no taste, but if they read things a little more carefully then they’d see that all their objections to my story are ridiculous!

**  
Saturday 21 December**

**11.23 a.m.** Super tired this morning, after spending half the night going through the Ghost Soup anon comm. Not that I’m judgemental, but I think these people are evil, and should get a life. Some of them had a nerve to be rude to me when I set them straight about a few important issues! It’s hard to believe that, even when I’m posting anonymously, I am bullied from all sides and set about by trolls!

**1.08 p.m.** Am horrified to see negative comments at the comm about friends of mine – have sent them all links so they can know people are talking about them behind their backs. Mind you, the long thread about that dreadful fandom classic “Irritable Bowl Syndrome” is really quite amusing; have thought for years that it was the biggest load of shit. Am looking out for more mentions of myself, but so far no joy – lots of talk about someone called the Grand High Witch, but not sure who they mean. The in-jokes are quite impenetrable.

**3.29 p.m.** My best fandom friend emailed back to condole me about the bitchiness towards me on the comm??? She asked if I was okay? Am feeling bewildered; what am I missing? I mean, it sucks a bit that no one’s really talking about me that much, given that I see myself as the top BNF in the fandom, but I can live with that. I can always start a thread about myself if I really feel the urge.

**7.43 p.m.** Have started the thread. Am excited to hear honest, anonymous thoughts! <http://ghostsoup-anon.livejournal.com/466.html?thread=33234#t33234>

**7.55 p.m.** Beginning to think I have had wiser ideas in my life. ‘Friend’ has emailed me to ask if I’m aware that the nickname Grand High Witch refers to me?!!! Beginning to suspect ‘friend’ is not really my friend; she may just be butthurt because I linked her to that thread eviscerating her GS:IB epic. It really is the biggest load of shit though, and it was time someone told her so. How else can we improve if not without advice?

**8.01 p.m.** The thing about anon comms is that you just can’t tell who’s posting. Have the great suspicion that the only person posting to slag me off is my ‘friend’, replying to herself and having a great old time of it. Otherwise, it is just people who are bitter of my success and my talent. It’s hard work being popular, sometimes. I will just have to rise above it.

**11.10 p.m.** Have decided that the best way to rise above it is to post a reasoned rebuttal of all the accusations levelled at me to the comm, logged in, and leave the mean girls to it.

**11.18 p.m.** Posted! [http://ghostsoup-anon.livejournal.com/466.html?thread=40658#t40658](http://ghostsoup-anon.livejournal.com/466.html?thread=40658#t40658) Feeling much more cheerful; that told THEM. But a bit of a wasted day, all in all. Am beginning to worry about meeting the Yuletide deadline. Will have a nice glass of wine, open up the laptop, and write fic in front of the TV for an hour or so before bed; that should be productive. Have also started tracking the comm, so that if anyone anon!fails, I’ll be able to see exactly who it is who’s being mean about me. They’ll soon learn that it’s not a good idea to be rude to me! I have plenty of supporters!

 

**Sunday 22 December**   
  
_Daily word count 0, Yuletide gifts on AO3 11_

**11.57 a.m.** Overslept! Shit!

**2.36 p.m.** Really MUST get started on my fic. Only, I need to do some laundry, tidy my desk, feed the cats, wash the floors and do the weekly food shop. Oh, and do some Christmas shopping. And check the Ghost Soup anon comm, to set people straight when they say inaccurate and mean things. That’s practically a full-time job, imo.

**6.11 p.m.** Shit shit shit shit shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

**9.28 p.m.** Fuck it. It’s only a nominal deadline tonight, right? I have till the 25th, really. I don’t know why I’m stressing.

**9.45 p.m.** There! 1002 words posted, assignment fulfilled. Okay, so it’s “lorem ipsum” repeated 501 times, but that doesn’t matter. I’m not going to get hit by a truck before the archive opens, or lose my internet connection before then, right?

Right?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Five times Stacy Flawless kicked more ass than the hottest/sexiest/most awesome character in your fandom (and one time she didn’t have to)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099622) by [who_la_hoop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_la_hoop/pseuds/who_la_hoop)




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